I feel good, for the first time since a while.
Writing this is a good solution for me. It keeps me kind of updated with my own life. I can write when I feel bad or extremely happy and see how much time is in between.
Right now I'm extremely happy and above all thankful for everything I have. I'm thankful for the opportunities I had in the past, right now and I will have in the future. Like the fact they would've kicked me out of school because I was sick for like half a school year and the other half I skipped my classes. They didn't kick me out and gave me one last chance to make things better. And things got better.
I'm thankful for my life. It could've been different by now, I still could've been extremely depressed with thoughts running through my head everyday about hurting or even killing myself. I'm so thankful for the medicine I got that made my life so much easier to live. I always was against medicine, but in the end it was the only thing that could help me. Right now I feel cured from an unknown disease, still I have to keep in mind this good feeling could be over in a second.
That's also why I write this down. When I feel bad I can read this and see that these were my own words and my own thoughts. That there were better times, and there will come better times soon.
Even though I'm in my exam week, I feel great. I'm not stressed at all because I feel like I will make it. 'everything will be ok in the end, if it's not ok, it's not the end'.
I just feel like I have everything under control, I have the people in my life that I love the most and everyone else that doesn't matter to me (anymore) are out of sight.
I'm just thankful for everything, for my boyfriend loving me, for my friends always being funny and more important: being there for me, for my parents, for my school, and even for myself. I feel pretty, not fat at all, and appreciated. I feel like other people think I'm a good person, but even if they don't think that, I still am. I AM a good person, and I'm worth fighting for.
I feel like I'm on top of the world instead of being in a crazy train of thoughts all the time.
I just shouldn't forget all of this could be over in a second I shouldn't get too hopeful, but for now, I'm happy with my life and everyone around me.
Thank you all,